Billy Bapp

Here’s the story of a boy named Billy Bapp. He was the first and only child to a couple named Betty and Bob Bapp.

Bob had a promising career with a small but growing retail chain. He was an assn. manager in a store.

Betty was a housewife. She didn’t work outside of their house. She loved children and couldn’t wait to have her own.

They lived the middle class life style and everything looked good for them.

One day Betty became pregnant and both Bob and Betty were thrilled to be having a child.

Bob took care of Betty, making sure she was well taken care of. Bob painted the bedroom where the newborn was going to sleep.

Little by little the day came when Betty would go into labor.

She called Bob at work to tell him that she was sure that the newborn wasn’t waiting any longer. Bob left work immediately and took Betty to the hospital.

They easily checked into the hospital and Betty went to the maternity ward where she met with her doctor.

The labor went on like any other delivery would go.

Finally the moment of truth. Their child was born. But almost instantly the doctor looked worried and Betty asked what was wrong.

The doctor wouldn’t answer her and she began to cry.

The doctor examined the baby and all he would say is “You have a boy, congrats.”

After a minute of life, the doctor noticed the baby turning blue. He knew this meant the baby couldn’t breathe on its own so he started mouth to mouth and called for a nurse to get a respirator now.

After the respirator came and the baby was breathing with the help of the respirator, the doctor turned his attention to something else on the baby.

A little red spot at the base of the baby’s spinal column was what the doctor was focusing on.

The doctor knew right away what that red spot was. It was Spina Biffa. A debilitating birth defect that would control this boy’s life forever.

All the time Betty was crying and wanting to know what was going on.

The doctor finally called in Bob to the delivery room and told them both what he was sure of.

“I’m sorry to tell you that your newborn boy has Spina Biffa. He may never be able to walk on his own. And also he may never be able to breath on his own. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say but congrats. I wish you the best of luck.”

With that he left the room almost in tears for Betty and Bob to work it out on their own.

After a few days in the hospital, they were able to get a respirator brought to their house so that their son, now named Billy, could breathe with the help of the respirator.

The Spina Biffa would have to wait. First, they didn’t know how sever it was. It could be a mild case or a crippling case, there was no way to know just yet.

Over the course of weeks and months, they would take Billy to numerous doctors to determine what if anything could be done to help their son, Billy.

The bills started piling up and the cost of the medication kept getting steeper and steeper,

Bob had to take time off of work to tend to Billy, plus taking him to the doctors.

Betty was committed to also taking care of Billy. Feeding him and bathing him and dealing with his handicaps was as hard on her as it was on Billy.

Over the course of a few years, his parents learned to deal with Billy. His respirator needed cleaning every day and now that he was older, he started to talk and develop mentally like an average child.

He started to go to therapy, where they would try and teach him how to walk.

It was a special therapy, just for children, like him.

It was very expensive but it was payed for by Bob’s work insurance.

Plus all the medications and doctor visits were running up a tap for the insurance company.

Bob had to miss a lot of work for his son’s doctor and therapy visits. It was taking a toll at his job.

One day the manager called Bob into his office and while holding back tears told Bob he was fired. Not because he wanted him fired but because corporate headquarter couldn’t afford the insurance premium anymore.

Even though he was fired, he was able to buy into the insurance program for a maximum of eighteen months by law.

It was a nightmare now trying to make it without a job. He tried to get any job he could but with the huge insurance costs, no one would hire him.

The insurance finally ran out after eighteen months and he was left without any insurance at all.

It nearly bankrupt his former company to carry him for those eighteen months.

Now after four years, Bob, Betty and Billy had nowhere else to go but public housing and be on welfare.

At least now the doctors and therapy and medication would be free, but they had almost no money and lived a poor life style.

Little by little, Billy grew up. He started school at age five like every other child, but he went to a special school for disabled children. He would go by a bus that was specially equipped to handle wheel chairs with respirators.

After school, the bus would bring him back home. Billy, despite his disabilities, was an unusually smart child, always asking questions of his teachers. He always did his homework.

With all that Billy had going for him, good and bad, he did grow and develop. He always wanted to play like any other child in a playground, but was not able to do so. He had a lot of difficulty walking even a short distance and his respirator prevented him from even leaving his wheelchair.

He was now in six grade, twelve years old, and trying to make the best of his situation. He longed for the day he could run and climb and jump like the kids he’d see in the playgrounds. In the back of his mind, he knew that would never be, but all he could do was dream about having fun with other kids at a playground.

One night as his mother was putting him to bed, often a time consuming process, he felt different, unusual. Not something he ever felt before. He was worried that he might be having a medical issue, but didn’t say anything for fear he would end up back in the hospital for the tenth time in the past year.

If this was to be the end for Billy, he was willing to face it, living as he had was not easy and he only wished he could do what any other child could do.

His mother helped him get into bed, checked to make sure his respirator was working correctly and turned off the light and closed his door.

He fell asleep suddenly, which was odd for him, and almost immediately started to dream.

In his dream, a boy his same age, came up to him and introduced himself as Johnny.

Johnny told Billy to come along with him to have some fun.

Billy replied that he couldn’t because of his Spina Biffa and that he was stuck in his wheelchair.

Johnny told him that he was now free of all his disabilities and could now do whatever he wanted to do.

Billy, at first resisted but then he felt his body move in ways that he never could before.

All of a sudden, Billy was out of his wheel chair and was walking and breathing on his own. He couldn’t understand what was going on, but he was happy, if only in his dream, to be able to walk on his own without needing any help and breathing without the use of a respirator.

Billy was very happy in his dream. But only in his dream did he ever think this could happen.

Billy and Johnny went for a walk together, they saw a playground and Johnny asked Billy if he’d like to go on the jungle gyms.

Billy said yes and they went over to the playground and Billy started to climb all over the jungle gyms. For what seemed like hours Billy climbed, jumped and slid up and down the bars and slides.

Then out of nowhere, it came to an end and Billy found himself back in his bed. It was almost time to get up and go to school.

He laid in his bed thinking about this dream until his mother came in to wake him up for school.

He didn’t know what to say about his dream to his mother, so he let it go, for now.

In school, he seemed distracted and unable to focus. His teacher asked him if everything was alright. He didn’t know what to say.

That night when his mother was putting him to bed, he told her about his dream.

“Mom, I want to tell you about a dream I had last night.” He started.

“Oh really, let me hear it.”

“I met a boy, about my age, named Johnny and I was able to do anything any other kid could do. Me and Johnny, we went to a playground and I was able to climb all over the bars and jump and walk like, like you would never believe it, mom. I was a normal child. And Johnny and me, we were like best friends and I was happy to be doing what I did.”

“Very nice, Billy. I glad you had a nice dream.” She was shaken to hear about this dream.

“But it seemed more than a dream, mom. It seemed like real life. Like I could do anything I wanted without my wheelchair. Without any handicaps. Something I wanted all my life… but couldn’t.”

He mother was holding back her tears, but said to Billy “That’s very nice, Billy, now go to bed. It’s getting late and you have school in the morning. Good night.”

With that she turned off the lights and left the room. She was crying by now. All her son had to go through just to get by and now having to dream what other kids take for granted.

Morning came and Billy went to school like normal.

Around ten o’clock, Betty got a call from Billy’s school.

“Is Billy sick today?” Someone at the school asked Betty.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, he’s not here. He never showed up today.”

Betty started to panic.

“He went to the bus stop like every other day. I took him myself.”

“Well, he’s not here and nobody knows where he is.”

Betty put her hand to her forehead.

“Look everywhere you can at school and I’ll look by the bus stop, maybe he’s still there.”

Betty was shaken to the core by now.

Where could Billy be, he never missed school before, he would never play a prank by skipping school.

She got dressed very fast and ran down to the bus stop.

No Billy here.

Where could he be? She was with him almost until the bus came. While waiting with Billy, something distracted her down the street. She went to investigate and couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary.

She saw the bus come and go from down the street and assumed that Billy got on and went to school.

She called the school back and asked if they’ve seen Billy.

“No, we haven’t seen Billy at all, have you?”

“No, I’ve checked the bus stop and he’s not there either. I’m going to call the police. I have to go now.”

As for Billy, he was going through a metamorphosis. As his mother went to investigate something down the street, he felt himself entering an amorphous cloud. He didn’t understand what was going on but something somehow was taking over his body. He could feel his legs move under his own power, he could feel his lungs beginning to breathe on their own, his respirator was no longer working and he could still breathe on his own.

Finally after an undisclosed time frame, he was in fact a new child able to walk and run and breath all on own, just like any other child.

As he was coming out of this cloud, he saw Johnny, the boy from his dream standing there.

“Hi, Billy, how do you feel now?”

“What’s going on, where am I?”

“You’re here, with me, Billy” Johnny answered.

“I can walk now and breath now, it’s amazing. But how can that be, I’m in a wheelchair and a respirator.”

Then suddenly, it hit Billy like a ton of bricks.

“Am I dead?”

Johnny answered back “No, you’re not dead. You’re “here”.

Befuddled, Billy asked “Where is “here”?”

“”Here” is “here”.

“But I don’t understand. How can I walk and breathe on my own now. What happened to me?”

“When you had your dream that I was in, remember, I came to you, to see if we could be friends. We had a good time, going to the playground and climbing all over the jungle gyms, remember.”

“Yes, but that was a dream.”

“It was only a dream to you. I came to you to see if we could be friends and then if we could be, bring you “here””.

“But where is “here”? Is it heaven?”

“No, “here” is “here”. That’s all there is to it. We’re “here”and nowhere else.”

Billy was still processing all of this. Going from any invalid to a fully functioning boy.

“Come on, Billy, the playground is over there, see” As Johnny points to an arear.

“We can start playing and running and climbing and jumping all over the playground.”

Unsure of what was happening to him and wanting to try out his new abilities, they both walked over to the playground and started to climb and jump and slid down.

Meanwhile back at home.

It’s been six hours since Billy’s disappearance. The police have been called and there is a detective at his home with his parents.

Detective Jackson asks Betty first. “I need a list of Billy’s friends, with their addresses, too.”

All Betty can think of is Billy’s dream about a boy named Johnny.

“Johnny” She whispers to herself.

“I need his last name and address now.”

Betty is at a loss for words. Not knowing what to say.

“It was a dream he had. Johnny isn’t for real.”

“You’re wasting time. Names, names, addresses.” Detective Jackson demands.

Betty answered back “He has no friends. Not one. Who would befriend a kid who was stuck in a wheelchair and on a respirator all the time? Not once did a child ever come to visit Billy. He has Spina Bifid. Myecom, myecomen, or the worst kind of Spina Bifid you can have. He couldn’t do anything a normal child could.”

Detective Jackson thought about that for a moment. Then he spoke again.

“Do you or your husband own money to anybody? I’m not judging you for what you do or how you live your life but did either of you borrow money from a criminal organization?”

“No, neither of us. I’m sure of that.”

“Gambling depts?”

“No. With what money. We both couldn’t come up with a hundred dollars if we had to. Billy’s health costs have broken us. We live in public housing. My husband can barely get a job because of the costs of health insurance for us and Billy is so expensive, nobody will hire him.”

“Is there anybody who, you or your husband don’t get along with? Somebody who has a grudge against you?”

“Nobody that we know of. We keep to ourselves as much as possible.”

“Okay” detective Jackson says. “If Billy should show up, call me immediately, here’s my card. I’ll do everything I can to find Billy.”

With that, detective Jackson left to start looking for Billy.

At the playground.

Billy asks Johnny a question.

“How did I get here? How do I get back to my house and how can I tell my parents where I am?”

“You came here though the cloud. You remember that? You can’t go home ever and you can’t tell your parents where you are. It’s not possible.”

“But they’ll be worried about me.”

“There is no way to tell them where you are or go back ever.”

“But I’m scared. I don’t know where I am.”

“You are “here” like I am “here”.

“But where is “here”.

“”Here” is where you will live now. Free to live the life you couldn’t before. I know all about you and came to get you and bring you here.”

“How did you know about me?” Billy is puzzled by that comment.

“A voice in my head told me about you. All about your life and how you longed to be able to live like a healthy boy.”

“Is this voice in your head a bad voice, to hurt or kill me?”

“No, no, it’s not like that. It’s a voice of love for you. Are you not happy to be able to run and have fun, unlike before when you were in a wheelchair?”

“Well, yes, but I don’t understand where I am?”

“Listen to me, you will get used to being here. I will show you everything there is here and take care of you. Don’t worry about that.”

“What’s going to happen to my parents? They’ll be so worried. Can’t I at least tell them I’m okay?”

“No, you can’t. You are “here” now.”

“What do I do now?”

“We’ll go and play at the playground. I’ll show you where it is.”

With that, they walked over to a playground full of physical challenges for children of all ages.

“Go ahead, Billy, climb that Jungle gym. Wave to me when you get to the top.”

Billy did climb the Jungle gym and waved at Johnny from the top. But as Billy got to the top, it occurred to him that he still didn’t know where he was or how he was going to survive.

“Johnny, tell me, where do we sleep at night, or eat?”

“It doesn’t get dark, unless someone is sad. Then it gets dark. That’s the only time it gets dark.”

“You mean we never sleep or eat here?”

Johnny replied “All we do is play. All the time. There is no day or week or month. It’s just now.”

This was a lot for Billy to take in, considering what and where he’d been in his life.

Meanwhile back at his parent’s home, the police have found Billy’s respirator and wheelchair abandon on a side street.

The police notify the parents of their find.

“Mama, we found Billy’s wheelchair and respirator.”

“But where’s Billy.” Mrs. Bapp asked.

“We don’t know, we’re still looking for him.”

Mrs. Bapp can hardly speak but says “He’s dead, I know it. He can’t survive without his respirator. There’s no way.”

The detective says to her “To jump to any conclusions yet. We’re still investigating. Is there anything else you can tell me about Billy that will help find him?”

“No, I don’t know anymore. I’m sorry, I don’t know.”

At the playground.

Billy asks Johnny “How long have you been “here”?”

“I don’t know. We don’t keep track of time here. We play all the time. Sometimes I get together with other kids and we have a game of baseball or we play hide and seek.”

Billy was starting to feel sad and there was a shadow forming over the playground and Johnny asked Billy what was wrong.

“I miss my parents.”

“Your mother prayed for you to die, a while ago.”

“How do you know that?”

“The voice in my head told me that. Not that she didn’t love you, but she felt terrible that your life was so hard and you could never be like a healthy child and that you suffered so much and she couldn’t do anything to help you. It destroyed her from within.”

Billy started to cry and the shadow got darker and darker.

“Please, Billy, enjoy your life now. I’ll see if I can find some other kids and maybe we can get a game of baseball going. You can be the pitcher if you want.”

Baseball was always Billy’s favorite sport, so the thought of playing a game cheered him up. The shadow then went away.

“There are other kids here, too?”

“Yes, there are. They’re all over. We meet at different playgrounds or ball fields. There are enough to get a baseball game going.”

Johnny got a game of baseball going with other kids in other playgrounds.

Johnny and Billy were busy using many playgrounds over an undetermined time frame. They never stopped to eat or sleep.

There came a time when Billy asked Johnny a question.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yea, sure. What is it?”

“Where you like me, you know, did you have Spina Bifida like I had?”

Johnny answered back.

“No, I didn’t have that.”

“Then why are you “here”.”

“I was hit by a truck and crippled for life. I was unable to do anything on my own. Walk, eat, or go to the bathroom or breathe, even. I was born okay but when I was seven years old, I ran into the street without looking and got hit by a big truck. I was in a hospital for months and months. I was in a bed all day. They fed me though a feeding tube.”

Billy took this all in stride.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry about that.”

Johnny then mentioned what happened to him.

“I was like you in many ways until someone came and got me out, like I did for you.”

“So, the same way I came here, you did too.”

“Yea.”

“Who brought you here?”

“A girl name Sally.”

“Where is she?”

Johnny knew this would be hard to explain, but he tried.

“She’s gone now. She told me that the voice in her head was telling her that her time was coming to a close and that she would be leaving me. But not to worry. That I would be guiding someone into “here”. Like she guided me into “here”.”

“Wow. When are you going to leave?”

“I don’t know. Not until the voice in my head tells me when I do leave “here”. The voice will then enter your head and tell you what you need to know.”

After that explanation, they continual to play on the swings and go up and down the slides.

Since time had no meaning here, they had no way of knowing how long they were “here” or when they would ever leave “here”.

“Are all the kids that we see here, like us?”

“Yes. In some way or other, they were crippled by something or born in some way like you were born.”

“And they, like Sally, will leave at some time or other?”

“Yes, like I will and you will, at some point.”

Billy and Johnny developed a strong friendship and learned to trust each other for emotional support. They were inseparable and played together for what seemed like an eternity.

Every so often, they, Johnny and Billy would get a game of baseball going with all the kids they could find.

Billy even developed into a good pitcher and led his team to victory many times.

Johnny and Billy were like brothers to each other and showed a deep love for each other until the time came when Johnny had to talk to Billy about something.

They were at the swings when Johnny started to talk.

“Billy, I have to tell you something. You may not like it but the voice in my head is telling me something. It’s time for me to leave and go back.”

“No, no. Don’t go, Johnny. I need you.”

Billy started to cry. The sky then became dark. Billy couldn’t stop crying and the sky kept getting darker and darker.

“You’ll be alright, Billy. I can tell. You’ve grown as a person since you came here. You’ve learned how to enjoy life even if it dealt you a bad hand. You’ve done a lot for me and me for you. We’ll always be friends.”

“When are you leaving?” Billy could hardly ask though his tears.

“We can play together for a while and then I will have to leave. As fast as you turn around, I’ll be gone.”

The sky was dark from Billy’s crying but they managed to climb the Jungle gym a few more times.

When Billy finally came down the Jungle gym slid, Johnny was gone.

Billy cried and cried until he heard a voice in his head and it told him not to be sad, that Johnny was going to have a new start in life. A healthy, accident free new life and that made Billy smile and the sky shined brightly.

Billy played by himself until the voice told him something.

“Billy, you have grown and matured and you have learned to love, to bring friendship to others and to mentor from your own experiences. You will be a valuable person to someone soon. You will show him or her everything you have learned. He or she will need your ability to guild them.”

Like what happened to Billy now will happen to someone else.

Billy was in a dream with a girl named Betsy. She suffered from bone debase which prevented her from even walking. Betsy was confined to a wheelchair just like Billy.

Soon after the dream, Betsy also disappeared from her family just like Billy.

Billy welcomed Betsy and taught her everything he had learned. How to enjoy her new found abilities. They became good friends and Billy even taught Betsy how to play baseball. Betsy even managed to hit a few home runs, just to show the other boys she was no slouch.

They played together for an undetermined length of time just like Johnny did with Billy.

Then at a moment in time, Billy told Betsy what Johnny had told him.

“I’m going to be leaving soon and I want to let you know that. There will be a voice in your head after I’m gone that will tell you what’s going to happen for you. I’m sure that you will mentor someone like I mentored you. You will show them everything you learned and how to adjust to their new found abilities. I have no doubt that you will succeed.”

Betsy asked Billy when will he be leaving and he said soon.

Like Johnny, Billy and Betsy were at a playground one last time and Betsy turned around to look for Billy but he was gone.

Billy’s parents never forgot about Billy. But with him gone and all the medical bills and doctor visits that cost them so much money, Bob was able to find a job and make a good living managing a business . Betty and Bob were able to buy a house in the suburbs and live a productive life. They always prayed that Billy was in a better place. They had no way of knowing.