First Love

I am still recovering from you

Even though the stitches and scars are gone

Even though I no longer need my medication

I am still recovering

Like a ritual, my heart reminds me of the way you held me

Holding onto the feeling as if it is still part of me

Always forcing the memories to replay in my head

I say that the scars have healed but sometimes, when I see you; I get the feeling that the wounds may have reopened

Having to see a severed red string

Tied neatly around my pinky

Something I see no use in keeping

But my heart will not allow me to remove it

The connection I had with you so strong

That it feels wrong to love someone else

When we are alone I want to hold your hand like before

But you push me away so often that I understand you want nothing to do with me

Today has shown me that there is still something between us

But it's been to long and too many other loves

That you, my first love, will always feel like my last

Still special but easily forgotten

Author Notes: It's been awhile