She and I met a few years back, and the day I saw her, I knew she went through a lot.
Her name was Parker, which, coincidentally, was my name too! I called her Parkie, and she called me Parks, just to make it easier on both ourselves and our friends. I was more extroverted than she was, so I helped her find a group that made her feel welcome.
We definitely had our differences. I was “happy-go-lucky and always smiling”, as Parkie had put it, whereas she was always a bit more reserved and anxious, fun to be around nonetheless! We were both in clubs, her in music and drama club, and me in photography. I guess opposites attract, because we became fast friends, even if I sort of pushed myself into her life.
I was always...jealous of her, in a way.
How she was more developed than me in certain areas, how she looked, with her baby blue eyes and freckles, how she acted. She’d never brag about herself, and instead show me and our other friends off saying how lucky she was.
I could’ve never wrapped it around my head that she was so sad.
I remember the day she told me she was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on medication. It broke my heart to know that my dearest friend was struggling internally and I was too blind to see it. I had wrapped my arms around her and told her she could tell me anything, and that truly did it. She had broken down right in front of me, spilling out every bottled in emotion, from how she felt about her mother to her thoughts about simply living.
It took us a while, but we got better.
I made sure to watch out for her, despite every effort she took to make me believe she’d be fine. Like I’d ever believe that. While I may be slightly small-minded and too pure for my own good, I’m not stupid.
Parkie, if you read this, I love you like the sis I never had. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone, because no matter how bad you make yourself, nobody deserves to be alone.
Author Notes: Hiya everyone. It feels really good to let that out, haha. Let me know what y’all think and don’t hesitate to criticize! Love all you sweeties!
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United States • 19 years old