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Hi. Nice to read something new from you :-)
Having read some of your more recent works I can see the improvement in your writing style. Your inexperience when you wrote this shows through with the repetition of words and phrases, especially at the beginning. On the whole, though, it's another of your engaging and action-filled adventure/fantasy stories that keeps one reading right to the end. Good stuff!
RebelSoul Haha, yeah it does. Though I did write this when I was 16. Eventually I go back and give it a good once through.
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