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Sarah Reviews

2 reviews have given an average rating of 2 out of 5 Stars
Auron
Auron gave a rating of 2

Very short and choppy sentences that can be turned into fuller sentences. For example:

Sarah is dead. It's been 10 days since Sarah died. I still can't believe she's gone.

My version: It has been ten days since Sarah died. I still cannot believe she is gone.


See how much smoother my version is? Interesting plot, however your grammar needs improvement.

0
PoojaShah
PoojaShah Ok..thnx for your review..I will work harder on my grammar.
Author -
lemonslice
lemonslice gave a rating of 2

Interesting premise, but you're not doing much with it at the moment. I'd say it's closer to a vignette than a story at the moment. You will have to add more tension and conflict, because at the moment you just have a character's retelling of events the reader hasn't experienced themselves.

1
PoojaShah
PoojaShah Thank you so much for your review. I will keep it in mind.
Author -

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