Unfortunately TWO issues put me off reading the full story: the use of digits in the piece which is discouraged (as per the site's Submission Guidelines, which you appear to have not read...)

Secondly, the unnecessary repeated use of the professors' qualifications in brackets was also extremely annoying. This is a piece that has tried to be a little too clever for its own good - and has fallen rather flat I'm afraid.

With some judicious editing and reworking this could be a much better story than it is at present. You have some talent that much is clear. Do, though, be a little more careful with your work as you do yourself no favours with silly errors :-)